You know your an old draughtsman when...

[Goomba]

I got this email a while ago, Maybe not AutoCAD museum, well I guess it had to start somewhere! All before my time but I'm sure some of you might find it relevant!

 

You know you are an old Draughtsman when............................

You know how to control line weights by rolling your pencil.

You know that a French curve isn't a grade change on a language exam.

You've erased sepias with chemicals.

You've had a roll of toilet paper on your drafting board.

You remember when templates were plastic and not a type of electronic

file.

You know what sandpaper on a stick is for.

You know that compasses draw circles and are not used to find the

North Pole.

You remember the head rush from the smell of ammonia.

You own a roll of masking tape so dried out, it will never be tape

again.

You've done cut and paste with scissors and sticky back.

You've etched your initials into your tools.

You have had a brush tied to your drafting board.

You've come home with black sleeves.

You've made hooks out of paper clips to attach to your lamp.

You know an eraser shield isn't a Norton program.

You've used "fixative" spray.

You've had a middle-finger callous harder than bone.

You have a permanent spine curvature from bending over your table.

You could also smoke in the office

You could put the 'page 3' calendar up in a prime location with no one

complaining

There were a lot of 'cowboys' about but now it's all Indians

The Evening News printed the words "Piping Designers wanted" on a

Wednesday

Agents didn't sound like spotty kids

You'd change jobs for an extra 50c

You'd have a set of blunt razor blades but not for shaving

You'd have the 'taste' of an old white rubber on your tongue

You'd be able to speak to the engineers in English

There'd be more than one way to sneak back into the office after lunch

You'd actually do a time sheet on a Friday

You learnt to fold an A0 drawing to get the title on the front

You'd have to be nice to the print room staff

You had to find new ways of persuading the stationary bloke to give

you a pencil

The old Doris in the office looked like she was 'chewing a wasp'

There were NO old draughtsmen

You also were accurate from 100 paces with an elastic band.

Your personal phone calls were in front of the chief draughtsman.

You went to the pub most lunchtimes.

Friday afternoons were spent colouring in.

There was an office junior.

Everybody hated the same person.

The chief draughtsman wore overalls with ink stains on the pocket.

And your timesheet bore no relevance to the hours you had worked!! (Well....something's don't change!!!)

[ReMark]

And you also know if you are an old draftsman if...

 

You have an Exacto knife and a supply of #11 blades as part of your tools.

You have 1st degree burns on your hand from the electric eraser.

You know the difference between a ruler and a scale.

You have a pile of eraser crumbs on each side of your drafting table.

You know how to use a T square.

You've actually used ships' curves and flexibles curves.

You know what a beam compass is.

You know the difference between vellum and mylar.

You know what a wash-off mylar is.

You used a pin-bar registration system to create overlays.

[Biscuits]

One more:

 

The Scum Bag is not the guy next to you.

[Tiger]

You learnt to fold an A0 drawing to get the title on the front

 

 

Hey I know that!

 

Wait... .. does that make me old?

[ReMark]

How many plastic triangles do you still have sitting in drawers collecting dust?

[Tiger]

How many plastic triangles do you still have sitting in drawers collecting dust?

 

uh...I might have a semi-circle one, does that count? oh, but now that I think about it, I have three or four laying at home...damn, I AM old

[Dana W]

If there was a female 'Secretary' working in your office, and you used to chase her about the room with the eraser sticking halfway out of the electric bit so it would wiggle while it whirled.

 

If you have permanent scars on the underside of your forearms from worn straight edge cable strands.

 

If you have a dent in your forehead from the parallel arm lamp hitting it whenever you increased the tilt of your drafting board.

 

If you have ever used a window for a light table.

 

If you've ever made a potato cannon from cardboard paper shipping tubes.

 

If you still open 1 gallon juice containers with your eyes closed and your head turned 180 degrees to the rear.

 

If you can turn your head 180 degrees to the rear.

 

If you know what Diazo means.

 

If you have recurring nightmares about being naked at work with only a necktie on and it's caught in the diazo machine.

 

If you have ever been involved in a tape ball fight.

 

If you still own an adjustable triangle.

 

If you know what kind of lettering 'Leroy' is.

[Dana W]

How many plastic triangles do you still have sitting in drawers collecting dust?

 

Mine collect sawdust. I use them to do tablesaw setups in my woodshop.

[ReMark]

You know what a Koh-i-noor pen is used for.

 

You recognize the words "Letraset" and "Chartpak".

 

You have a horsehair brush but you don't own a horse.

 

You have a steel straightedge and a self-healing cutting board.

 

You would recognize a K&E "rolstop" if you saw one and know how to use it.

 

You have a triangular sleeve around your #2 penicl so it doesn't roll off your drafting board when it is tilted.

 

You even know what a drafting board is.

 

You have a "french curve" in the shape of a woman.

 

Your set of ruling pens still get used.

[ReMark]

You used a "stomp" and not seen it on Broadway.

 

You have a K&E lead spline whale on your desk but only use it as a paperweight.

 

You know what a pounce bag is.

[Ryder76]

Oh Good Lord I know ALL of these - I must be flippin' ancient!

[sinnerboy]

Cast your mind back 25 years BC ( Before CAD )

 

Words had different meanings then

 

X-REF - A RETIRED UMPIRE

BOUND X-REF – RETIRED UMPIRE, CAUGHT IN COMPROMISING POSITION

ATTACHED X REF - A MARRIED RETIRED UMPIRE

PAPER SPACE – A DESK ON WHICH TO FOLD DRAWINGS

MODEL SPACE – A DESK ON WHICH TOWORK ON AIRFIX

FILLET – A LARGE STEAK

SERVER –WAITER WHO BRINGS YOUR FILLET

PAN - AN INSTRUMENT FOR FRYING FILLET

EXPLODE - CONSEQUENCE OF EATING TOO MUCH FILLET

ARRAY - SOMETHING BOUGHTWITH CHIPS

CUT & PASTE –WALLPAPER’S JOB

SNAP – TO LOSE THE HEAD

OBJECT SNAP – TO BREAK SOMETHING

WIZARDS - FAIRYTALE FIGURES

ZOOMWINDOW – PANE OF GLASS ON A FERRARI

HATCH PATTERNS – THE WAYS IN WHICH BIRDS ARE BORN

ICONS –WERE HOLY PICTURES

VIEWPORT – VISTA FROM END OF DUNLAOGHAIRE PIER

LINEWEIGHT – HOW HEAVY YOUR WASHING IS.

PLOT SCALE - SIZE OF YOUR GRAVE

PLOT STYLE MANAGER – HEAD GARDENER IN GRAVEYARD

POLAR TRACKING – EXPLORERS PASTIME

RIGHT CLICK - TO BE MUTUALLY ATTRACTED TO SOMEBODY

POLYLINE – DATING MORE THAN ONE PERSON

TOOLBAR – PUB FULL OF IDIOTS

TRIM –WAS A TOWN IN MEATH (IRELAND)

UNDO AND SNAP –WHAT HAPPENED AS YOU TRIED TO TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIENDS BRA OFF

VP SCALE- AN EXECUTIVE’S SALARY LEVEL

POLYLINE – TWO DATING PARROTS

POLYGON – ACRIMONIOUS SPLIT UP OF PARROTS

[Dana W]

Draughtsman? Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Draftsman! Now I get it. :lol:

[marmo]

The clock is ticking ...

I once worked with an old architect (about 80 years). He knew how to "use" (turn on) computers and Microsoft Word.

The only problem was that he used Recycle Bin to store project reports!

[The Buzzard]

You know your an old draftsman when this poem is on the wall of your office.

 

This poem goes back to the days of drafting tables and pencils and was very common to many then.

 

The Last Revision Authored by: Ken Lipka

The Draftsman and the Engineer

are men of skill and vision.

At least they are until they hear

the hated word -- REVISION.

 

The Engineer with practiced eye

surveys his grand design.

The Draftsman draws so expertly

each complicated line.

 

"Complete," they sigh contentedly,

"Miraculous Precision."

Oh, Optimists! Tomorrow brings

catastrophe! REVISION!

 

Revision One adds this piece;

Revision Two improves it.

Revision Three makes it just right;

then Revision Four removes it.

 

"You can't do this, you can't do that."

"We'll wait for a decision."

"But in the meantime, just revise

that last revised Revision."

 

Revise! Revise! The very word

fills Engineers with dread.

Tho' die they must, they'll be revised

to make damn sure they're dead.

 

They hope that God's no Engineer

when he makes his decision.

If once they win their wings they hope

there'll be no Last Revision

[Jack_O'neill]

This is priceless!!!

[Dana W]

You know your an old draftsman when this poem is on the wall of your office.

 

This poem goes back to the days of drafting tables and pencils and was very common to many then.

 

The Last Revision Authored by: Ken Lipka

The Draftsman and the Engineer

are men of skill and vision....

 

They hope that God's no Engineer

when he makes his decision.

If once they win their wings they hope

there'll be no Last Revision

 

Hey, Lipka was looking through my windows.

 

Usually, during revision 8 of 10, a hole would be worn in the paper. Have any of you gone to the trouble of taping in a patch to a vellum drawing? Cut and Paste was NOT invented by Microsoft.

[CyberAngel]

Cast your mind back 25 years BC ( Before CAD )

Words had different meanings then

 

With apologies, I have a few more.

Color Table: where some children sit in art class

Wipeout: unsuccessful surfing

Profile: face seen from side

OLE: heard at bullfights

Base Point: to a climber, the foot of a mountain

Model Space: photographer's studio

Paper Space: newsstand

Clipping Plane: typically precedes Crashing Plane

CAD: not a gentleman

Alias: assumed name

Action Recorder: private investigator

Block (UK): apartment building

Block (US): collection of cells

Anonymous Block (either): full of John Does

Fence: found around blocks

Layer: segment of cake

Layout: done after eating cake

[eyde]

Hey, Lipka was looking through my windows.

 

Usually, during revision 8 of 10, a hole would be worn in the paper. Have any of you gone to the trouble of taping in a patch to a vellum drawing? Cut and Paste was NOT invented by Microsoft.

 

My first drafting job 35 years ago was for the Housing Athority and I did cut and paste for as-builts that is all I did all day long every day.

[Dana W]

My first drafting job 35 years ago was for the Housing Athority and I did cut and paste for as-builts that is all I did all day long every day.

O lordy. I have a stress headache just thinking about it. In '79, I did electrical schematics for a 'Big Space Agency' Subcontractor pretty much the same way. My teeth are still grinding.